I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
