paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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