dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
