This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
