Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
