I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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