i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
