i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
