Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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