So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
