Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
you didnt know i had herpes?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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