my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
