We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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