Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
As shirtless as possible
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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