Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
