OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
