Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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