I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
