i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
