You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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