his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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