I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
