Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
PANTIES FOUND
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
