i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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