ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Randomize
