i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
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