I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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