She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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