yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
