dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
