your parents love me but you hate me
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
