just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
