we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
