I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
