Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
