NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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