You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Michael Bay diarrhea
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
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