We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
