i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
