plz talk dirty to me
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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