I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
