Little spoons don't ask big questions
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
