Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
