There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
