I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
