If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
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