So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The power of my boobs compel you
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
