I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
