I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
