what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
