the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
We talked him into tasing himself.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
