considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
